blabberistic.

Birdie, birdie. Fly away.

2012-01-08T13:46:00.006+08:00

this is currently my fav shows! Nick is so cute ! Its a new tv shows called New Girls staring Zooey Deschanel.

MUST WATCH LIST ! :)

1) Gossip Girl

2) The Vampire Diaries

3) The Secret Circle

4) 2 Broke Girls

5) Pretty Little Liars

6) Misfits

7) Skins UK

8) New Girls <3

9) 90210

and lastly

10) One Tree Hill.

Sup, guys? And by birdie, what i meant was my Twitter account. As for now, i am following 492 people and have a sum of 656 beautiful followers. But that is not why i signed up for twitter in the first place. Not for the followers. Nor the fame. Just for a simple, quick updates about myself, and my inner circle of friends and family. But now, it has gotten bigger than that. It is more like a place to express anything. ANYTHING !

But then, a few of closes friends takes everything seriously. Well, you know what happened. I guess eventually, people will get bored of judging other people from their tweets. But i am wrong. Damn, there a few of those people who are so vain. (and you must be thinking all of my tweets are about you, don't you?)

I started getting bored. Feeling not good enough. And the worst part is, i have to think before i tweet something. Like would this tweet offend anyone and stuff? Man, it's so not cool. Like freaking seriously. I know. I know. Why can't i just settled by being just myself and fuck off what others will think? Easy for you to say that when these things doesn't happen to you, ey? :)

Now, Facebook is like a medium for me to get an uphold of news for my bachelor degree. And that's that.

Twitter? Less fun that how it used to be and that is sad.

Tumblr? Always been there for me even though i didn't know almost 92% people in there.

Blogger? For someone like you guys, my silent readers. Stalkers. Haa! Gotcha! Haha. Nahh. More like me blurting all of craps in here. And you're the victim!

To be honest, i am getting tired with all these social network thingy. The society is getting uglier and uglier each day. Look at what they did to our youngsters. All those public attention seekers. Don't you guys feel ashamed of what you did? Find something better to do other than trashing other people so you could feel good about yourself. (Am now talking like a true 20s :p)

No offence, guys. But grow up.

Hi, hello. \(o)/

2012-01-01T20:34:00.008+08:00

I have been running out of ideas of what to write in here ! Dear, God. I sign up on blogger to express. And now, i'm lack of that. I've been keeping everything inside and its eating me up. Every single day. Yeah you should now, as you grow older, the things that matter now, will be nothing in the future. So set your priorities right, kid.

I blogged without aim. Without a proper topic. I blabber, you listen, you read. Plain and simple, aite? Nahh. Wrong. Likewise now, every single word im writing, i won't even bother to doublecheck it. Or else, i'll end up saving the post as draft, AGAIN. I get this paranoid feeling when im writing a post. Like helloooo, no one cares ! Why do you even bother? Well, see? :|

As you know, 2012 is here. A brand new year. Well, well. Nothing has changed for me. I have achieved the age where every special day is just like any other day ! This happened too during my birthday and raya. Quite a disappointment, actually. I would trade anything to be a kid again. Back then, everything was so much fun. The only way people can hurt you is by pulling your hair out or stealing your crayon.

Indeed, i have an amazing childhood. I grew up with great music to listen to. The old Linkin Park, Michelle Branch, Pink Floyd, Blink 182 and others. Unlike now, trashy, trashy, trashy. Score."I have both of my parents back then and i have always been the perfect little girl for my daddy. I bet if he's still here with me today, he would've doubted my mom's decision for not giving me car, you see. I iz sad.

Nahh. Just kidding. Did i mention, as i grow older, there's one thing i realised. I've lost a few friends of mine. I am not closed to many people anymore. It just seemed that way. But nevermind It's not like i need a lot anyway. I'm grateful with the real friends i have now. You guys know who you are. I wuv you guys. xoxo

Family, suprisingly has become my first priority. I know, i know. Not quite of a big suprise for yah? But for me, it is. I grew up being a total rebellious teen. Thinking that what a lousy parents i have, thinking that i'll live forever with friends, friends and friends ONLY. I used to make excuses during family outing. But now, there's a big regret inside of me. For all of those time which i can never take back.

Here's my conlusion for 2011.

It is the year that went by so fast. Like, seriously? Maybe a little too fast. It's the year my so-called friends walked out from my life and it's also the year where i realised who the true ones are. It's the year i said i am going to accomplish great things but yet, well you know the end. It's like a waste of a time, really. And it is also the year where i look back to all those lifetime memories and missing the people in them. 2011 has taught me a lot of things. And happy new year again, people. Much love.

CARE.

2011-11-24T21:18:00.006+08:00

I feel a sudden disconnect with the world around me. I still care, but not that much anymore. I don’t know what is wrong with me. But as I grow older, I learned that family is always the priority. And I don’t need a thousand friends when only one can move me out from sober.

Talk about being a loser. I already feel like one. I shut myself away from people. People whom I used to be fond of. Friends, especially. Living life like there’s no point of living. There’s a few who realized this and came. But I never let them in. Never. It’s like I’m hiding a big secret when there’s nothing to be hidden. I’m afraid of something that isn’t real.

If this what normal people feel eventually when they were growing up? Cause this doesn’t sound normal. I have a beautiful family at home. Not as much as beautiful as yours. Greatest friends in time in need. And absolute partner who loves me dearly. But still, I reckon all of that is not enough.

I’m missing something. But I have no idea what it is. People said I stop caring, that’s what happened. If I did, I wouldn’t be writing this post you see. But nor on my twitter, facebook, my social life has gone down from 8 to zero. Literally speaking, zero. I have no absolute interest to update what’s happening throughout my life lately cause believe it or not, I have no life.

And it’s not me who stop caring for the world. It’s the other way around.

Exactly.

I am not a loner. I am not an attention-seeker.

This is me expressing my thoughts to the world. Isn’t that how it all work out?

let te music do the talking.

2011-10-14T00:04:00.004+08:00

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most,
Cause you are my heaven.

I don't wanna waste the weekend
If you don't love me, pretend a few more hours, then it's time to go
As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm
It's too late to cry
To broken to move on
And still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need from me

It's just a drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most,
Cause you are my heaven.

Misplaced trust and old friends
Never counting regrets
But a grace of god I do not rest at all
In new England as the leaves change
The last excuse I'll claim, I was a boy who loved a women like a little girl
And still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need from me

It's just a drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most,
Cause you are my,

Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no no
Heaven doesn't seem far away
Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no no
Heaven doesn't seem far away

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most,
Cause you are my heaven.

You are my heaven.

MADE IT OUT ALIVE

2011-10-05T14:13:00.003+08:00

It’s official. My teenage life is coming to an end. God, I feel so old. Am I the only one? So hereby I declare I made it alive in this world for 19 years. Imma proud mommah. *cries*

When it comes to our birthdays, our close friends and loved ones will start to ask “What do you for your birthday?” and honestly, I never can actually answer that

question. It simply goes by without a word.

NOW LET ME ASK YOU. IF IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

Now if you asked me, it depends on the people. Parents, siblings, boyfriend, girlfriends, friends and acquaintance. They all jump into different categories.

Parents

Yelah, kalau bab2 parents ni, kdg2 tak sedar diri mintak iPhone la, iPad la, Blackberry and all those expensive stuff. Mostly because we know they could afford it. But I like to keep it short and simple. If my mom takes the whole family out for my birthday dinner party, I’d love that. What’s more to ask, right? I hold on to my late dad’s word. If you want something from people, you got to give something back to them too. Thus, all that gadgets that I owned and still do, I’m proud to say I deserve them. All of these, laptop, smart phone, and a car, which is on its way (well maybe next month or the next three years T__T ), I owned it because I worked my ass off for all those big exams. I love you, mama, Abah (Al-Fatihah). :)

Siblings

Huh. What can I expect more from my siblings? Haha. Abang ja yang dh kerja pun. But he’s getting married in February 2012 if I’m not mistaken so there. He got no money to be wasted on me. Sad. But then, I have a freaking hot sistahhh who just started her work after raya ! Last year, she gave me a watch BECAUSE SHE TOOK THE ONE WHO’S MINE but that doesn’t count. :D x untung jgk adik beradik ramai neh. Nanti bg dekat sorang, yang lain pun nak jugak. Apapun takboleh. My 2^nd brother, kashah. Always nagging me bout how I can give presents to my friends and boyfriend but not him. Simple. Cause you never ever thought of giving me one too? *smirk* And there’s my lil brother, Ben who always act like he’s 5 years older than he really is. Once when I was still in my high school, I gave he something. Tapi bila gaduh, kelas kau, dgn benda2 tu dia hempuk dekat lantai. DUIT AKU JAHHHHHH. Sumpah tak beli dah lepastu. Whatever it is, all of us make a big happening family. I love each and every one of you.

Boyfriend

I don’t want to be all cliché, but really. All I want for my birthday is you. Teehee. There are a few things to ask from you though Mr.B, but then, if I started, you’ll be finish. Haha. I want a big cuddly teddy bear so I can hug him whenever I’m alone, sad, before I go to bed or when I think of you. It’s really like a substitute of you, cause you can’t be with me like all the time, kan? But then, I also wanted a Polaroid so I can take a lot of pictures of us together and put in on my bedroom wall. Then again, I really wanted those long dates or big surprise that all boyfriends always do for their girlfriends. Being able to sit around and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not much to ask, huh? Love you baby. :)

Girlfriends

There are two types of my girlfriends.

Number 1: The best friend who you’re real close to. You see them at least twice a week, maybe more. You talk a lot and catch up on everything.

Number 2: The best friend you don’t talk to as often, but deep down, you’ll always know that they’re your best friend. They understand you, although they barely see you.

I would kill just to have some good time with my girlfriends. A sleep over, will do! Please? I miss all of them so effing much. A weekend runaway to a total stranded island with all of us sounds good.

Salma, Jinfeng, Paie, Mila, Amei, Teynsyah, Kyla, Naniey, Azreen, Syairah, Adik, Faz, Nurin, Sherry, SS, Wanda, Izzaty Riang Ria, Scha, Tegar.

Ahhhh ! Writing all these names would take me up forever !

All hail Asmarians batch 2005-2009 !

I MISS YOU. :’)

So that’s the end of it. I won’t ask much for my birthday. I thanked god for giving me a chance to live, Alhamdulillah. For both of my parents whom I loved so much for raising me well, my siblings for teaching me when there’s heaven, there’s hell. My boyfriend, Ajim, thanks for being with me through thick & thin, and lastly to all my friends, for being there. Always. Still to those who asked, here’s my wish list.

1) Samsung Galaxy S II !!

2) Ipad2 @ Samsung Galaxy Tab @ Playbook (either one will do ! :D)

3) A new car. Easy on the fuel, please.

4) A Polaroid. The big one.

5) New clothes, dresses, jeans. Lots n lots of them !

6) A new mp3 player. My iPod after 4 years, dah mati. Sorry Uncle Rahmat. T_T

7) A brand new flat shoes. <3

8) Being able to eat a lot and not gain weight. Who has the cure?

ALL DONE!

dad, i need you.

2011-07-16T00:29:00.004+08:00

i don't want any of your sympathies out there. i miss you, abah. like fucking seriously. x adil. ya-allah, why him? why did he had to go 2 days before my spm? why did he had to go when i was not there at his side to recite syahadah with him? he's my only man. the one who understood me completely. he is my bestfriend. though i never shared him enough with other siblings. cause he's all mine. losing him feels like losing a reason to live. it's been 2 years. why can't i still move on? what's gonna happen to me when i had a problem? whose arms would i ran into if its not yours, daddy? you always knew. i don't have to cry yet you knew there's something wrong. we would sneak out in your car in night and went for an ice-cream in middle of the night. when everyone was busy snoring or watching the tv. i miss all that.

i miss how i always wanted to stay back late at school so that you can fetch me once you're back from work. even i have nothing to do. you would knock my head off if i let you wait for a minutes or so. gosh, dad. every single morning during raya, you would brag how much we were late to go back to maktok's kampung?

and when you were hospitalized, how i love to sleep right next to you in the hospital bed but mom would never allowed me? :( that one month, the hospital became my 2nd home. i don't mind skipping schools so that you won't have to be alone lying in the bed. you cried once, cause one night just because the gardenia twiggies at the hospital store ran out of stock. it killed me to see you like that.

how you lose weight so drastically. how i stupidly joke that i envied you for getting thin in such a short time. how you told your friends you felt so guilty for being in the center of attention when i was the one who supposed to get it since im facing those big silly spm at the same time?

that one moment. i was studying for my trials. i was sitting alone in the dining table. and you came. observing me study. you smiled, dad. you smiled. you told me how proud you are of me. you asked me to be strong. and you said sorry, dad. FOR WHAT?

"...for taking all of the attention you needed."

they don't know how i feel. how come they tell me to be strong? they don't go through the same thing as i am how can they tell me they understand?wherever you are right now that, my prayers are always with you. and that, eventhough there were a lot of jerks and fake friends i had found recently, i didn't give up, dad. to me, they were all nonsense pathetic people. idgaf. u teach me that.

no matter how many boyfriends i had, you will always be my no #1 man.

I LOVE YOU. I MISS YOU. AL-FATIHAH.

I never hold a grudge, but you are my exception.

2011-03-22T20:09:00.006+08:00

Until now. It still didn’t make sense. Why him? And not somebody else. He’s not trustworthy. It’s proven. He broke my trust with disgust. He tore me up to pieces when I’m on my preparation to my final. And again it makes me wonder,

how did he manage to do that? TWICE.

He’s not family. Hell no, he never is. He’s not a friend. Or, he used to be. He’s not someone special, maybe not to me. I don’t understand. After everything that happened, he managed to stay. Without a bit of self-humiliation. He’s not even ashamed of what he has done. Despite me, the one who found out every single dirt that he's being doin behind ours back with my bare eyes.

He still being him. Make friends with everybody. Shake hands. Hangin’, yeahh. So he’ll has an alibi. To back him up when things fall out. When things fall out, im the victim. I were to be blame of every single thing. Why me? Why not him? Why did I have to take the bait?

You think this is enough? No. He dragged everyone into this drama. Even my precious one.

I swore the day he made my baby cried, he will pay for it.

It’s just a matter of time, beeetch. You’ll see.

Yeahh, i know. To give is to forgiven. How could I forgive someone who was so self-centered? Who proclaims like he's giving benefits to other people. Who acts like he's an angel. The hell you're not. I hate you for being close to her.

For being more than what you should be.

I hold all of these for too long now. I need to let it out. I tried to say something before, but did you listen?

better than original

2011-03-10T13:39:00.002+08:00

Sam Tsui feat. Christina Grimmie - Just A Dream [ Nelly ]

Sam Tsui - Hold It Against Me { Britney Spears ]

Maria - Born This Way [ Lady Gaga ]

false alarm.

2011-03-08T21:54:00.004+08:00

BEING IN LOVE IS NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU THINK. NOT EVERY STORY HAVE A HAPPY ENDING. BEAR THAT IN MIND. :)

You're gonna end up fighting like half the time,

Next, you act like nothing ever happened.

Spending one moment crying yourself to sleep,

Next, you gonna have a non-stop laughter.

One day you filled yourself with frustration,

Next, you piled it all up with joy.

Some moments talking about what great future you two had planned ahead,

Next, the moments could be gone, just like that.

When you feel like you've completely given up,

But you just can't let go, don't you?

Believe me. I experienced all this. By time to time, being in love is gonna teach you the meaning of sacrifice, loyalty and trust. Some said being is love is the perfect feeling, but love itself is the most imperfect thing there could ever be.

MAJOR transformation.

2011-03-06T17:55:00.013+08:00

hey y'all. i dont have much time to waste. i only have about one month to spend in Alor Setar and then i'm off to KL. Gonna pursue my degree there and insya Allah, in 4 years time, i'll be holding on a degree which im wayy too proud of. Dad, this if for you. *wink :)

Did i tell u that i had just completed my foundation in engineering under UniKL? Guh--reat! it feels amazing though to finally be back at home, being able to wake up late the next morning and still, you have nothing to do. NOTHING ! haha. ouh life is great.

so, here's a quick update. im in a relationship with this guy now. :)

he's the apple of my eye. for me, he's perfect in his own way. i love you, jim. ;)

*tlg la doa kan yg baik2 ye.mekaseh*

i love his flaws. i love how he walks. some people said its funny but i find it adorable. i love the way he smile. i love the way he cares. i love the way he proud of admitting im his girlfriend in front of his friends. i love that he had no problem of sharing everything with me. i love how he share his future plan with his mommy of marrying me ! :)

well, im sorry readers. i had no intention of showing off our relationship or getting any kind of unwated attention or to hurt anybody. i just want u guys to know how happy i am with this guy and i really2 hope that u guys would pray for us. With God willing, i want us to last.

thanks guys.

back to the story, i am doing a big transformation in my life. this is not NEW, mayb u've heard of it, well yeah, i'd like to cut off a few pounds. not a few, like a lot ! don't u? i hate being compared to my sister. She's good at everything, especially dressing and stuff. Despite of me, her sister, i din't inherit any of that genes. I wore what i like eventhough i know i look hideous in it. I laugh like a maniac and i walk like a looney tunes. Im nothing close to being pretty nor beautiful. So, that's that.

IF i cut down a few pounds, I'll be able to fit into anything. Clothes would not be a problem nemore.

And you know what, i had enough of being mocked fat, chubby and stuff. But thanks neway to those who matters, you guys inspires me.

NEXT, i want to be a good cook. I want to be able to cook a few of great dishes. x kira la western ka Malay ka Italian ka suma aku nak belasah. haha. This will do good for me and for my own future.

FINALLY, i want to work. i want money. NO. i need it.

so there goes all my dreams, waiting for time to be achieved. It's gonna take time u know, but i'm gonna make it happen. We'll see.

paie, salma, hef2, mila

and. and. i miss ALL OF THESE guys. the MOST.

(not to forget kamilia aziz and fatin syahirah jasni) :)

im not dead, yet.

2011-02-06T10:19:00.004+08:00

so, it's been a while since i updated this blog. reviewing my facebook. or even twittering. well, i dont know. i dont have the heart to all of these things nemore. my life has being cranky but im not goin to whine about it. i mean, who has a great life all the time huh? my mouth is been dedicated to swear these days.

and sure, its been a long time since i went home to my hometown in alorsetar. and yeah, we are probably moving again to KL. but dont ask which part of KL and when. cause i dont give a damn. i was force to go home an tidy up all my stuff in the room and the result, i got 7 used clothes in garbage plastics to donate to the homeless children. :)

i supposed to not went back to home this CNY holiday. but i did anyway, but it just for the day. and im sorry to anyone who matters i cnt mke it to see u guys. its not that i wnt to avoid u or anything, it just deep down, right here, i've been holding on the pain for so long, and to reveal it all to u guys was not even an option.

i miss my best buds. i miss lala. kyna. kme. sumie. salma. paie. jf. mila. tinsyah. amei. back then, when everything went wrong, i always have their sholder to lean on. to cry on. but now, we are separated by miles apart. i've been shutting myself down lately just in case u guys didnt realise. cause i need these people attention. those who i loved dearly. cause u guys dnt even asks how am i doing. fine, enough with the sad stories.

my foundation in mara college will be officially end on the 3rd March of 2011. and my final exam, will fall on the 27th of feb if im not mistaken and yes, i have not touch a single book and to hell, i must say, im t0rmented.

and finally, im not 100% happy with my life at the moment since there is someone out there who is trying to ruin it. but im happy with him. with my mom. with my sis. and with my big bro who would soon be getting married. yay ! and p/s : im going to be dead soon enough.

i love my tumblr.

2010-11-16T22:49:00.002+08:00

isn't it pretty? haha. jk jk. and only a few of my close friends can access them. i keep it real private. cause eveyrthing that i post really means something.

holla.

2010-11-16T19:33:00.002+08:00

it's not that i don't want to update my page. it just that at this kind of moment, i feel like shutting of my life to all outsiders. thankyou.

but i can't wait forever.

2010-10-31T23:42:00.008+08:00

Have you ever waited for someone, but they never did come back? Have you ever achieved the one you called happiness, and after a second, he/she left you without any last word? Have you ever feel like he/she is the one for you even though it seems like you are in this journey, alone? That’s right. I’ve been there. Done that. I know exactly how you feel. And somehow, that person suddenly appears back into your life. And surprisingly, the way they act make it seem like nothing ever happened. Fuck, that hurt. Don’t you think?

No, you can’t deny. You can’t help yourself to think. There must be a reason for everything to happen. So, sure there is a reason why he/she LEAVE YOU in the first place and COME BACK claiming for your attention after all this while.

For the sake of love, and hope, of course, we, the people who never give up on second chances still go for it. Even though the risk is too much. You might end up getting hurt, AGAIN. How silly can you, be? Remember, if he/she doesn’t even bother to explain, and then just let them go. They are absolutely not worth it. If they don’t love you in the first place, what’s the point of being with them now? Nothing’s gonna change the fact. They leave once. And there’s no doubt they’ll repeat the same damn thing.

Dear mister. We may say its okay, leave it alone. But I want you to notice this case isn’t closed. Don’t go open my heart and just let go. And there’s never a night I sleep with a dream that I have if you never decided to leave. There’s never a night that I sleep without thinking about who I could have been with you. There’s never a night that I breathe without thinking about who I could have been if you didn’t leave.

But hey, the past is past, aite? I move on. You move on. So why bother looking back, reminiscing those memories if what’s left are only scars and pain? If you don’t change, I WOULD BE OKAY. But you did. So, wave your hands for goodbye. I’ve got a better one standing with me now. :)

P/S : No, it’s not possible for girls and guys to be best of friends. =_=

don't u get it?

2010-10-25T21:40:00.007+08:00

WARNING : THIS POST MAY CONTENT SEVERAL THINGS THAT YOU PROBABLY DON'T THOUGHT IM CAPABLE OF SAYING. IM PISSED OFF. SO WATCHOUT FOR THE BAD WORDS. AND IF YOU'RE TOO MUCH OF AN ANGEL FOR THIS POST, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

U know what. I may seem easy. I may get 'unmad' quite quickly. But don't take advantage of me, please. I know my limits. But it seems like u don't know urs. I honestly hate those kind of guys, who go f**ked up every pretty bitch around. I hate concept of "Guys can have more than one if he wants to." Why can't u just settle for one? Is she not good enough for u? Is she not picture perfect like the girl who u often give compliments too? Do you take her easy just because u know, U HAD HER. Well then, f**k you!

I give my respects to those guys, who can't even lay their eyes to any other women just because he knows, he have a much worthy girl in front of his eyes. i salute those guys who likes this one girl, and never did move on. being loyal is great. not everyone can do it. not even me. hands down.

if u aren't ready for commitments then, don't settle into relationship! because eventually u'll hurt the girl even more, stupid.

godddd! why can't u see it blind guy? that girl have given up so much just to be with u and this is how u repay her? u even told her, she never understands u. yeah, like u understand her so much. or u just pretend to, big guy? she isn't flawless, she isn't perfect. she annoyed u a lot. she blabbers too much until sometimes u can't take it anymore. but hey, where's the vow, "i accept u for who u are." WHATEVER SHIT THAT IS, RIGHT?

u had her in ur arms now. she's urs right now, man. so why wud u go and flirt with other girls? or is that just nature of u? well, maybe u were born that way. she'll change. for everything that u said. not for u. but for her own goodness sake.

maybe u guys weren't just meant to be. maybe this is it. maybe it's over.

untitled.

2010-10-04T12:15:00.005+08:00

"To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free."

im sorry i let u down.

2010-10-03T22:55:00.006+08:00

Karma is a bitch. u ever heard of that? hell yeah I did. after all that I’ve done, it’s a lie if I said im going through every single day without the guilt. Without thinking that someday, somehow, someone will do everything that I did to u to me. I honestly didn’t plan for this to happen. u’ve been too good for me and this is how I repay u? believe me. u don’t want to go through everything with me all over again. I’ve read the long message u sent through my fb. dear, I do remember every single thing that u said. and im not going to deny it.

im stupid for thinking we still can be friends after what happened. I believe we can, but its not going to be that easy. it’ll take a long time to heal. the wound is just too new. I don’t care if everyone see me as the bad guy. especially your friends. I don’t expect them to understand. but please ignore the bullshit u heard from one of them. as if they got proof. yes, I may always be seen with that guy. u know me, right? im easygoing. if certain of the guys at my college see me as a slut, I don’t fucking care. cause I’ve got a whole lot more guy friends that know the hell im not. im easily drawn to people. sigh. what I can do about it? that’s just me.

I told u so, right. I did told u before. before I get into the college. before u went to UiTM. I told u.

“Im afraid I cant do this. I cant do long-distance relationship. Its not u. Its me. Im the one who’s gonna mess up.”

Several things cause the tense, and I know, u tried so hard to protect our relationship. But I can’t bear with it anymore. I can’t lie to u any longer.

I may found someone better. I may like someone there. I MAY BE. But at least, Im not going to lie to ur face. Im not saying that im an angel. U deserve someone better. Yeah2, cliché as it sounds. Its true. Listen. I don’t break up with u just because Im running over to someone else. And if u’re asking why im not giving u a second chance, the answer is plain simple. I don’t want to hurt u once again. I can’t help it. Im ignoring u because I felt the pain too. Maybe when u stop hearing my voice, stop receiving my text, this thing would be easier for u.

I will never let u fall

I’ll stand up with u forever

I’ll be there for u through it all

even if saving u it sends me to heaven.

–The Jumpsuit Apparatus

Im sorry i broke this promise. u have every right to hate me. thanks for everything. tell your mom im sorry.

Sincerely,

Sabrina Mohd Shuid.

dont cry because its over. smile because it happened.

2010-09-28T23:21:00.008+08:00

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you
blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

The person you love
comes into your mind every 2 minutes.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love
B
ut you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye
And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like
All you need to do is cover your ears,
But if you try to close your eyes,
Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

P/S : From my very own experience, love has no past tense. You can
never stop loving someone. If you do, you never truly love them in the first place. It either has convert to like, or the love itself has fallen beneath its categories.

don't 'KILL' yourself.

2010-09-18T00:49:00.003+08:00

i don't worth that much, darling. trust me.

sometimes when people leave,

im seized by a sudden fear that they'll die while they're out,

and i'll never forget the last thing i say to them.

stealing mister sandmand sandbag.

2010-09-02T22:12:00.005+08:00

wallaaaa. now I finally have a few of times of my own. my heart insists of writing on a new post. im sorry readers. im not the type of author who update her blog twice a day. life is hectic. I need to have time then only I can update my bloggie.

semester 1 is already ending soon! omaigod. how fast the time flies by eh. through it all, I drew apart from a few friends of mine somehow. yeahyeah the cliché part. everyone went to college. everyone is busy. everyone didn’t have time to keep in touch. u know what, all of them are bullshit. now I lost them without news. they just didn’t keep track. heh.

everytime single time I head back to alor setar, usually I met my stunning lala. durhhh. her house is just behind the kfc jalan stadium so I did have a reason to go often eh? (haha! kdding lala. ) I also had the chance to met wani and hajir ever since I left alor setar to come and study at this effin college. I always wanted to meet salma, fatinsyah, amei, nurin, faz, koda, ss, kme, salis, adib, sumie, anis amanina and my beloved LC’s<33>

and hail to the one and only guy friend, well he’s a good friend of mine, ahmad farhan rusman. huh. mamat ni pun satu. ever since he went to taylor’s at july’s, I only heard from his once saying that he missed me. haha. funny still, everytime we texted, it would be a night before the exam. I’ll wait for u when my final comes around eh, bugger! J

as people who really know me from real life, u wud know im here at this college with ayad, paly and pia too. but I only remain close to pia compared to the other two. they just changed. dramatically. (I dedicated this more to that one person rather than the another.u know who u r, mister.) blablah. people change. people blablablah. that’s his line. all hail the drama king.

guys, hari raya is coming soon! pls pls meet up. lets held a gathering at sya’s or anything for asmarians, LCs or anybody! don’t u guys missed me? :P besides, this raya is goin to be a hell of a fun ride! my family gonna tke a family portrait for the 2^nd time since the last ten years. great! and not to forget im goin to nag my paksu’s butt until he realized his words of congrats! u scored 8As in SPM. lets get u an iphone! thingy.

SELAMAT DATANG HARI RAYA!

ORANG PUASA XPENUH JANGAN MIMPI NAK RAYA! :D

ALL FIST UNIKL STUDENT, PLS. WE’VE GOT A FINAL EXAMINATION COMING. GRR. :’(

death will come to you.

2010-08-26T21:28:00.009+08:00

i just read a post about one of the boys at PASUM who died last month, which was on the 31st of july. it hit me right bact at cha. the author was a close friend to him. somehow she felt like he died because of her. he fell from the 5th floor after trying to climb up onto the balcony because he accidentally left his wallet and his key inside and he really didn't want her to wait. if he could just wait. for another 5 minutes, he would be safe. cause his roomate was just on his way back home by then. and, he would be here. now. still alive.

how crazy life can turn out to be huh? u imagined, u had just seen that someone smile. u both were just laughing your lungs out through the night. when the next morning came, the only thing u knew was that they have gone. it's a terrible feeling. i doubt it u would understand if u haven't experience a loss of your close family member or your friends or even your loved ones. the pain is too much to heal. i guess they lied. TIME WILL NEVER HEAL. it get worsen. it did. trust me.

this is to everyone who just lost somebody. whether its your dad, mom, sisters, brothers, bestfriends or even your spouse. i know its hard.

move on is the key. but how can u move on when the memories still lingers around your mind? every single time. as if you failed to do something, somehow u felt like u let them down too. even when you're at your ups, the pain is still there. because its frustrating to think that they will never see how good we are or how great we have been.

its easy for others to say,

"hey its okayy. let bygone be bygone. focus on what still alive. because in case u haven't notice, u are still living?"

what if that person who died, brought our whole life with him?
what if that person who died, took away all of our reasons to smile for?
what if that person who died, is the key of your happiness?

it just hurt that much to know how much closer we were to the dead. the end.

Am i too fragile? Love is. Am not.

2010-08-11T21:06:00.010+08:00

hello people! im back for more. muehehhe. Alhamdulillah, during my standardize test 2, I managed to score 4 flat. well, overall lah. I got 100 in physics which until now I still can’t believe , 90 in math and only dangg 80 in chemistry. (tu pun lpas pjuk ckgu kmia soh re-check paper =.=’ ) therefore, I immediately text a few of my loved ones like my big brother and sister, abg danel and kae, asking them to buy me CALVIN KLEIN for her EDT. too bad, they are too stingy. here goes for u too dorky. im not ur poppy konon. wekk. haha. (dh keja pun nk bkira. trok!)

i just recently completed A LOT of assignments and presentation. A LOT I tell u! My physics presentation is not so gud. nuh-uh. My English reading theatre and product promotion went great and we managed to get the first place and now we have to compete again in final. gosh. I think I played my role as the mean wife who led his dull husband along the wrong path quite good. wue. i love my classmate. hahah. shoot. stop it already, sab. okayokay. well the good news is, today all muslim already started fasting and enjoying the holly ramadhan. so, happy fasting to everyone I know in the whole world, especially the ones who are reading this. yes, you. :)

I’ll be home celebrating the early month of ramadhan with my beloved mommah at alor setar accompanied by arin, my roommate. ohyeah! one more fact, did I tell u guys I actually learn to take bus to go home instead of forcing my mom to come and pick me up just because my house is just 45 minutes away from my college? haha. screw myself eh? but hey, I did improved okay. but a note for belon. u r the heir of HBR group of company. hello, tolong la buat bas cantik sket mcm maraliner. I did pay my money okay so my contribution do counts! :D

anywayyy, PRD’s here at KMKN just organized a chocolate day event and I manage to get 6 chocolates. Thankss to madam manjaa, ajim, zaty, arin, “the greatest fan of my life”, mira. I love u guys. aww. u guys just love seeing me stuffing more fats n fats into my body. *shifty* also thanks to pokjat and apizz and iskandar for treating me. it means so much to me. damn, not all guys in this college are shitty. ;)

cant wait to get back! I wnt to meet my whole family, the LC’s, my highschool friends and my highschool juniors, bestfriends especially lala, kyna, kme, salma, faz, teynshah, amei, sumie. Well the guys ; apad, bobo, pakku. Are u guys coming home? Lets meet up. See u guys later. Hugs and kisses. Muah.

P/S : 4 friggin weeks to final. damn, semester 1 is going to end soon. time flies pretty fast don’t u think? =.=

this one is for you.

2010-07-16T23:04:00.015+08:00

FRIENDS FOR LIFE.

credits to tumblr

yeah, so suddenly, everything is so fucked up. I'm not ready for my standardized test and neither going back to college. life's being a bitch. I'm being a bitch. I dont know where am I heading. but I'm all stressed up. I cried when I listened to slow songs. I hugged my mom every night and slowly cries at her shoulder. I always wonder, whether I'm doing the right thing in my life now. I always thought I'm gonna end up being a coolie to any sucked up bossy people who only knows to give direction.

life ain't always fair. it never was. turning 18 is fun, but can I pls have my friends back? I miss the hell out of them. Well im supposed to meet salma tomorrow which im not even sure if i cn make it! kme syg, reading ur post tears me up to pieces. damn, cause I miss you too! And the worst part is, I'm only gonna be home this raya. Sucks on that :'(

to my friend, which I can't say are we still friends. or not. I'll give u a clue. U r nanie's housemate. D'uh? At this moment, i really wanted to say I was sorry. Even though we had a rough patch, a big war, a fucking session where we talked pretty bad to one another, i never forget, u used to be the one who understands me the most. also the one who annoyed me the most. only for your ego. but that was back then. we're never gonna be like what we used to be. and if its me to be blame, well, go ahead. What I'm saying is, YOU ARE CROSSING MY MIND. pretty often. (-.-')

wuuuuuu. i miss my classmates! amei, my deskmate. the one who always witnessed me sleeping (like a lot!) during classes, nurin, the beloved class monitor, sherry, the bully, faz, the non-stop talking little angel, adek, i miss reading ur great english poem and story. haha. also wanda, the trustworthy treasurer who never lost a cent of the class money. not to forget to the 'geng jalan pipit' sumie and anis :)) aww. sumie has become one of the cempaka's girl now. congrats darling. and anis' u've been pretty quiet. i wanna hear from you!

ss. my supersweet dearies who is suffering at uitm shah alam now. haha r u? koda, well, aku tringat hg jugak eh. :) MY DEAR AMILA FADHLIN, UR SO FAR AWAYYYYY. salis and sya, ur smile can cheer up others sometimes u knw. to azreen omar and adib, hey! don't u miss me like even a bit? heh. zawani, nanie, and anis najwa, thanks for everything. hugs and kisses.

im out. im gonna stop expressing my love to the world now.

i need u guys.

pls keep me updated with your life.

♥♥♥

loving two person at that time. it is possible, right?

2010-07-11T23:24:00.006+08:00

"the moment you left, i miss u already. even if it just a second ago since we've met."

hey guys. it's been long, yeah i know. but i don't think anyone really care about the content of my blog. as if i do? haha. i just wrote what i want and when i feel like to. FYI, i had the chance to go for a movie twice. And i watched the same damn movie for both times. Silly, right? But it was destined. What can i do to resist? Eclipse was wayy better than new moon btw. The conflict appealed is soo interesting that i could almost relate it to my lovestoryy. Nahh, just kidding. :P

im in an unconditional mood right now. sometimes im at up, and sometimes i felt like the world is coming to an end. remisnicing that i lost two of my beloved lecturer in this time being really kills me. Durh. Both of them are the lecturers of my killer subjects ; Physics and Chemistry. And once u guys get used to the way of their teaching, there'll be a problem coming up when u have to repeat the process all over again with the new lecturer. me dislike. gdbye ckgu najy hansem and ckgu umi. ;/

and well, it mid sem break, and guess what?! im not having fun at all. at first, im at ease when i arrived home. when i can finally sleep on a comfy bed, being hugged by mom, and being able to wake up very very late on the next day. but two days after that, it all has made sense. i kept thinking about getting back to college so i can work my butt off to score 4 flat this time on my second standardized test. *sigh* have i told u guys i only score 3.35 on my first test? that was when i being completely bajet-bagus-pandai-rajin-tp-xam-xscore-pun girl.

wue. im hoping to talk about dilemma and stuff to u guys. i want to share what im goin thru right now. which is hard to xplain by words. you guys will be sleeping next to ur keyboard by then. i'll be updating bout that in my next post. love u guys. bye! :)

P/S : I am soo damn proud that my mentor / my english lecturer is actually following my blog! i ♥ u, madam manja!

hold on.

2010-06-27T20:52:00.005+08:00

life is being tough. real tough. im having a turning point in my life. im becoming a more of a confused teenager. im having a good life i should say, but i can't say i enjoyed it that much. Last night was a nightmare. Imagined having a dream of where u gained back what u loss. and when u wake up, the reality is there. the fact is that u still lose what you had lost.

stop telling me that i should recite yassin and prayers and stuff when i tend to think about my late dad. i know that. i repeat. I KNOW THAT. u guys are not in my shoes. how could u said

"it's not like the end of the world. it's not like ur the only one who has no father in this world. it's not like ur the only one who suffer any loss."

damn. those words haunt me terribly last night. every single word that u said, i'll never forget it.

it takes time to heal. or it never will. that is a fact. i never moved on. cause someday, im gonna go to a place where my dad stays right now. it just that he went first. he went w/out saying goodbye first. u guys will never know how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong.

the past keeps remisniscing. the last moment of his life. can we just went back to 15th nov of 2009? so i can whisper in his ear how much i love him. so i'll stay by his side throut his last breath. so i can kiss his forehead before the doctors took him away.

gosh. it's hard.

we had fun wearing lab coat :D

2010-06-13T00:35:00.011+08:00

*amir sgt hensem pkai lab coat* :P

we're playing jokes on si bulat.

my one and only girl classmates ; miraa

current bestfriends ; iskandar <3

My life is hectic. Real hectic. I had fun. But not for long. I’m not complaining but I really miss my old friends. No joke. Guys, we all had new roommates, new girlfriends, new people to hang out with, but still somehow, no matter how much I told my secrets to them, or laugh about stupid things with them, it will never be the same without u guys. U guys are a part of my life. U guys taught me the lesson of life, the meaning of life. And I know it sounds cliché, but dear my high school friends, I MISS YOU GUYS SO FUCKING DAMN MUCH!

Well, what can I describe ey. Being here, i decided not to take part too much as I did during school life. I didn’t sign up in Jawatan Perwakilan Pelajar (JPP) and Pembimbing Rakan Dinamik (PRD) or whatever. Even by looking at a few of my friends being a part of them is tiring. HAHA. But! I did join the ‘koop’ member. Cause I get an extra RM20 monthly. Muehhehee. I loikke. Besides, I get to hold lots n lots of money. Sometimes, one thousand bucks is nothing ordinary.

And since now is the world cup fever, all the guys in our college altogether gather at our fellow’s office to watch world cup in LCD. Ohyeah. Hebat kan kuala nerang. We even had WiFi here. And not to forget 3G connection. and whatsoever. It just that who said being here is soooo hulu? Demn. I love being here. More than in Aloq Staq. HAHAHAHAHA (^.^)

Cute guys alert. *teet2* *teet2* lots n lots of them. bersepah. nak dating sini we. haha. okay guys. I got to go. wish me luck for my standardize test tomorrow and the day after tomorrow! :)

college life

2010-06-01T17:51:00.003+08:00

this is just a quick update. real quick. yesterday had done too much pressure on me. way too much i could say. im not exaggerating anything but yes, this is true. here by say, u can't completely trust anybody. i had those experience already. first time in college but a few times back in highschool. okay. bad times. delete. delete. im meeting great people here. but a few little 'baby' (y to the i) also not to forget. nvm. since my lecture started, i just love physics ! never even got asleep in mr. najyasyraf class. ehem. ehem. but during chemistry, oh my god. oh my god. the sandman is always there. i can only survive for like 20 minutes and then, boom! there she goes. :P math has been quite interesting but also sleepy. sometimes. cause u know, sometimes the lecturer babbles more than she should have. here in my college, our library is a heaven! besar lbey kurang rumah sab jugak la. fuhh. everytime i went to the psp (library) i felt so like at home. hee

i just don't like the way they spilt the boys and girls during prep. we can't even do revision together. as u know, back in here, in my tutorial class there were 13 boys and only 2 girls. woot woot. as in lecture hall, there were 7 girls and 35 BOYS. or more. seriously the ratio is high. girls to boys is like 1 : 6! its kind of an advantages though. if u get what i mean. hehe.

okay. u got bored. i know. sorry and to those pathetic loser that hasn't get enough being stupid anonymous and asking stupid question on formspring, get a life. fuck yourself. durh. takecare people. hugs and kisses. :))

tag yourself. if your name was in here.

2010-05-16T11:07:00.008+08:00

currently missing them.

mama. kae. abang. ben. maktok. kashah. not to forget ; [ dork] haha

love of my life ; apadd. ♥

darlings ; belon. nangka. farhan rusman. anip. ss. luqman. kme. anis najwa. addy. myaa. kinah. ncky. faka. fazhar. mena. wani. hajir. kyla. kyna. min :( sha. mim. azri. shah. sheik. hanim. adyb. amei. wani. salis.

my old friends ; if u guys still remember. im just gonna state the name. (xkesah pa mpa nk kta )

sumie. anis amanina. mira rushdan. faz. adek. wan. nurin. sherry. koda. umy. nuun. trex. ajin. salma. yes, salma.

juniors ; dena. atinn. pien. putri. ilya. chika. put. anith. athi. laylaa. jenny. colleen.

P/S :

and u know what. dekat sni aku bstfriend dgn ayad, pia. haha kerap btumbuk dgn paly. sekian. :)

kissing in cars.

2010-05-03T23:49:00.008+08:00

future is calling. jyeah!! thank GOD, for blessing me with such oppurtunities. overall, i've got 3 offers that i consider are all i ever wanted to have in my list of options. Well they are ;

1. Foundation in Science & Technology (Engineering) - UniKL <3
2. Kolej Matrikulasi Pulau Pinang - Sains Fizikal :|
3. Asasi Kejuruteraan - UiTM Puncak Alam :))

and hey! guess where im goin? haha. yeahhh the first choice was always meant to be. with no regrets, i toughen up my determination and decide this is what's the best for me. thanks a lot to all my darlings who have always been there for me through anything! no need to mention their names though. cause they know who they are and they just know how much they meant for me. every single one of them. i ♥ u guys. :))

btw, last night my family and i went for the movie. we had a great time together watching IRON MAN 2.

hell yeah this movie is worth every penny!! i've got a movie marathon line up for me. hehe. im planning to watch

IP MAN 2,
THE BOUNTY HUNTER,
SHREK FOREVER AFTER (THE 4TH)

later onn. cewahh. as if this sunday im still here. *sigh* :(

im thrill for this new upcoming experience. no joke. but my heart is pounding with fears too. the competition, struggling like crazy, plus with this one person who keeps bugging me. im so fucking annoyed i tell u. go awayyy. apad mrh neh. >.<

currently thinking ; eh eh. arau dgn kuala nerang xjauh kn? :D

P/S : Have fun at HK, kamilia aziz. Goodbye.

a note for you.

2010-04-29T20:35:00.010+08:00

it's the thought that counts.
true said.
you don't exactly have to prove anything. :)

lies.
there's no such thing as white lies.
cause lies never bring good. only harm.
i'm not going to say i never do lies, but i never really lie for goodness sake. :)

the L word.
when i say L, what comes to your mind first?
is it LOVE? LOSER? LAME?
or GLEE? haha.
don't be so darn silly. L word has always meant love for me. :)

P/S : credits to kme. your 'S' word will always be yours. =_=

friendship
a lesson learnt.
a life worth experience.
learn from the best.
remember, life is too short to waste it with people who annoys you.
so buckle up. and find yourself a few of great friends.
you don't need much actually, a good one is just perfect. :)

and finally today i blabbers about something out of my frequent box of mind. thank GOD! =_=

take it or leave it.

2010-04-26T18:20:00.005+08:00

"IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY,
THEN DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL"

or indirectly, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

ever heard of this phrase? hell yeah. what happen to you lately, man? okay, we all know you are currently studying in the most-prestigious college in malaysia, congrats to you. cause none other of us can afford it though. while you were gone, everybody here misses you, you know. although at the very beginning, you don't quite talk a lot. you hear me? but still people remember who you used to be. when we heard you were coming back, all of us were looking forward to meet you. but then, what happened? you changed, man. and i'm not the only one who felt this way. i know, i don't know you quite long enough to say that, but still i can sense the difference. think about it. you are just fine before. and please, think first before you talk, whether what you might say will hurt other people or not. cause right now, you are being so fucking rude.

P/S : To my dear friends who were currently at KL, [mya, nanie, lala] balek la woi! >.<

short update.

2010-04-24T22:34:00.004+08:00

I just have to do something that i really don't want to do.

But i kind of want to do it. Which makes me not want to do it even more.

Cause it seems so wrong even though it's right.

360 degree turn.

2010-04-18T19:18:00.006+08:00

"although you far from my sight u never will escape my heart. " :)

believe it or not, i only got 20 days to go till i finally registered myself to a college! haha. last night i had an emotional breakdown and my mom screamed when i told her i dont want to do engineering no more. its ridiculous, i know, cause this is what i've been dreaming all along. even me myself have no idea what kind of demon had got into me last night that made me utter such words. my mom is furious. ask ayad if u dont believe me. pity u, ayad. im so sorry! and thanks for the concern though. i mmg mcm neh. ska psiko dri sndri. gonna learn how to patch things up ;)

so behold, here comes the future avionics engineer!!

baby, like always. ur saying, its ur future. ur choice u dserve it. stai la apadd. =_= psst. and to you belon, im not goin to change my mind anymore. u gve me a wake up call though its harsh for me at early to accept but im gtting used to your bloody mouth. thanks dork for being my trigger and my officially advisor. i owe you cikenchop gemilang lahh. kaknuha , u knw why. and ayad ; im so lucky to have u as my future classmates. off to KN then sepang we go! russia baybee, russia! :D

am i ready?

2010-04-15T19:49:00.013+08:00

♥ we're just being silly ♥

my mind is playing a trick on me. cause im being a psychotic to my ownself. first i said i will, then later on i said i won't. Then the situation will repeat itself until to a point where i tell myself to stop.

well i've got an offer letter to a college i applied for. but the foundation under this uni will be held in a remote area. alaa, only for a year and 2 months. not that i care much for, *dekat la sket dgn apad dan kwn2 kn* hehe, but a LOT of my friends didn't quite gave their encouragement to me. i need someone to say atleast :

"GO FOR IT SAB!"

not.......

"hah? ************ ja? Eew. Ksian hg. Bljaq trok2 p stu ja. " =________=

nor....

"aku igt umoq 18 neh hg mju la sket mai kl ka pa. skli dok area hulu gk. *big laugh* LAME! "

do you guys know how much thinking i've been doing this past few days? haha. sial la kwn2. itsokay. i love you guys still. but, thinking about the guy at PLKN, his current blabbers is,

"Hey, cmon. Its ur future. Dont think about me. Go for it."

Mmg la. Ckp sng la. Mmg la kta xconfirm valid for eternity but insya-Allah if god willing? don't u think so? :(

u went for the national service, u left me here still, although none of us want it to be this way, tp nanti i accept offer neh, seeing u won't be easy anymore. its not that far, i know. but, i'll be a college student after that. WOW. *kening2* tobat busy. kena plak classmates dgn ayadd & pia! haha big MAJOR transformation from ms lazybum to ms nerdyyy :O

wellwellwell.

a friend of mine called last 2 days. i think. a good friend of mine actually. well i know him since primary. we chatted for hours and it ended with me saying bye fat ass and he replied bye shithead! sorry for his rudeness but that just him. kn? :)

and i got myself a new haircut! ^^

CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS 28TH!! HE'LL BE HOME. YAY! :D

P/S ; Contact me through phone pls if anything. And my dear mya, takecare okay. I love you.

THERE'S A FEW PEOPLE ASK ME HOW TO FOLLOW MY BLOG.
if u want to, just listen.
(1) Copy my blog link.
(2) Back to your dashboard. there's an add/manage button besides "What is following?" right? Haha.
(3) Just click the add button and put my link there. Easy as pie. And yes, ur welcome. :)

another half of me.

2010-04-08T07:59:00.008+08:00

i miss my gorgeous half of me :)

like crazy!

and this lil monster too,

and not to forget ;

♥♥♥ this guy right here.♥♥♥

P/S : Sometimes personality makes more fun out of it then looks. Looks can fade, but the act will just remain. I don't care how he looks, but what i care is his feelings towards me. Thankyou, moron! :)

painkiller, anyone?

2010-04-07T23:35:00.005+08:00

I have nothing else to say. My mind is full with thoughts and mashed with sort of complicated things. Thanks Lala ; for always being there for me. Im sorry cause i know i never been a good friend to u. or anybody. Cause somehow, people always take me for granted. And i hate myself for that. For not having the guts to stand up and back myself up. To LC, u guys r my cheerios. My life turn out to be more fun after i knew u guys. Thanks :)

Kme and ss ; i always go for you guys when it comes to 'guys' thingy cause somehow u guys have the expertise in this kind of thing. *evil grin* just so u know, with u guys, i learned to chill. i learned 'new words' for god sake! haha. when i went to kopitiam this morning, i met koda, umy, and nu'un. i think i miss u guys too though, but idk. u guys don't seemed to be pleasant with my presence. im sorry if i did anything to offend u. no heart feelings.

and please for the rest of people out there, hear me out. don't judge me by just listening to one side. u guys ONLY know to pissed and cursed for everything that happened. I don't blame myself for what happened. Besides, i blamed myself for just being relate to what happened. go figure. i never want things to end this way but there's nothing beyond my capability that i can do anymore. im giving up. i'll take the gun shot. label me. idc anymore. call me a L. even if i am, it still doesn't mke u the winner.

Fazhar Sharin ; thanks for the valuable advice. I still dont have the guts to do it.
Anis Najwa & Wani Sardee ; just for hearing me out and makes fun out of it. Good work. Keep me entertain.
ShaheirJibin and Keun ; for the career advice.

A BIG GRATITUDE TO ALL OF YOU.

Lst but not least, mommy. Ur allowed to stalk my social site account but pls dont tell me who i destined to be with. I just dont like it:(

P/S : I wnna go to perlis! Sumpah rindu apad. (-_-)

when people are in love, biasalah. :P

2010-03-30T22:39:00.011+08:00

when this kind of moment came, trust me, i wish nothing else but u. i wish u were here to comfort me. i wish u were here to tell me that everything is going to be okay. i wish u were here right now telling me that no one is going to hurt u or else they'll have to face me first. dear boy, i miss our webcam session. i miss our supersavers that always end up with u calling me back although at the first very beginning u'll said "jgn prabeh duet dok kol2 i. save sket. tuhan mrh." =___=

we've talked for hours. and end up tomorrow, both of us getting up late as usual. aww. u are everything i ever imagined. i never thought u were like what u are right now. im sure everyone who knows u would agree too. with me, u are completely diff. and why is that, huh? haha. org xtw mlm2 u'll turn into an innocent little 'monster' and jd sotong smcm. haha but i just love that side of u. do u know that? im glad, although u went to the national service camp, u never failed to update me with ur recent activities. (but still i xpuas hti u kta kt sna ada org mka mcm i)

i'll sing u this song, tomorrow. i meant this words. all of them are for u.

"I'll Be"

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.

I'll be your crying shoulder,
I'll be love's suicide,
I'll be better when I'm older,
I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You're my survival, you're my living proof.
My love is alive -- not dead.

And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.
I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

i ♥ u and i miss u. take care always. don't you worry. i'll take care of myself from now. i'll be ur gud girl, i promise. trust me. :P

P/S : As dork said, give my emo thought a chance. Peace! x)

farewell and goodbye.

2010-03-24T17:21:00.011+08:00

im currently in the mood for 'goodbyes'. i dont get it. where is the good side of GOODBYES? people often said that the most painful goodbye is the last goodbye. the one u dont even expected to be the last. the one u don't even have the chance to wave for goodbye.

well, for mine, im not sure. i had my worst goodbye. with my late father. he was in his ward, breathing for his last air, while i was on the ground floor persuading the stupid guard to let all my friends came in. u guys cant imagined how i felt. until now, the regret for not being there, at the last moment, for not being the last one he saw, before he went to another 'world', for not being the one who taught him to say those Holy words, for not having the chance to said

"I LOVE YOU, ABAH."

for the very last time, nearly chokes me to death. Every single time i think about it, tears roll down on my cheeks. I'm just frustrated. So fucking frustrated.

If only my friends arrived late just for just one minute. if only i delayed my intention to go and get my friends downstairs just for another five minutes, i won't have this feeling. ever. maybe that's why among all of my siblings, i was the one who seems to suffer a great loss. they are, too. but i'm the worst. Officially on the 16th November 2009, i became anak yatim. This title will remains forever, and yet for me, it was painful to see others still have someone to call a daddy. Maybe God loves you more than i do, daddy. :)

To my dear sayang, take care. I hate saying goodbye to you. I really do. 3 months is just for a while. Think positive. I still can meet u up somehow. Jgn buaih2 sbb u duduk dkt padang besar dekat2 dgn Danok, kn? wahhhh. U gonna miss me a lot, don't u? ;p

Other friends who also will be goin to national service such as Paly hoy, take care jugakk! Selamat membotakkan kepala. Happy being black. Which i know u will. haha.

To addy and ad adzim (kyla msti plek tgk nama ad ada), haha, selamat berjuang ke TAYLOR'S. I'll follow ur track soon enough okay man.

I'LL MISS YOU GUYS, PERIOD. :)

MOOD : GOODBYE MY LOVER BY JAMES BLUNT.

what say u?

2010-03-22T14:28:00.004+08:00

hey guys. hye peeps. and hello to my followers and my silent readers.

i was just goin to question you guys about formspring. What happen to formspring lately? The website has been tarnished by all the immatured childish act of users who keep asking stupid questions. I had a lot too. Basically, i dont enjoy entertaining those morons. Sometimes, it drives me mad. =.='

btw, i kept getting a lot of feedback for this past few days. a lot of PEOPLE labelled myself too flirty. Especially to people whom i'd just knew. Am i? Seriously, i have no intentions at all. And that includes good and bad. A lot of anonymous people started to stalk my formspring account and started to ask whether i love my bf and whether im in a SERIOUS relationship with him or im just playing along with the game we both created. wtf? a few of them keep posting, be loyal, be loyal. i dont get it. what did i do wrong?

i tried to do reverse psychology, so as, to understand what do the 3rd party really feels. Sort of true, but not 100% true. i even apologize to shaheir, if im being overeacted. u knw, about me 'flirting' with him, cause u know, sometimes i can get overboard. but he said, no, i was not even close. so?

i dunno. i've been through this before. kan pia? u knw what i meant. i knw u do. being torn in between between our loved one and our guy bestfriends. i even had it with u. but that was history. closed. :)

karma it is. hell yeahh.

2010-03-20T15:38:00.009+08:00

reblogged from dayang anne. i hope u dont mind. i just love this one :)

Guys are assholes.

If you argue with him, you’re a hard-headed.

If you’re quiet, you don’t care.

If you call him, you’re too clingy crazy.

If he calls you, he says you should be happy.

If you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you.

When you do loves him, he leaves.

If you don’t fuck him, you’re a tease.

If you do, you’re easy.

You tell him your problems, he says you’re irritating.

If you don’t, he says you don’t trust him.

If you lecture him, you just want to argue.

If he lectures you, it’s because he “cares”.

If you break a promise, he doesn’t trust you anymore.

If he breaks it, it’s because he had to.

If you cheat, he expects it to be over.

If he cheats, he wants another chance.

They’re all basically the same. :)

Guys drink to forget about girls ; girls drink to think back about the guy.

When guys are in love, they become poor. sorry syg! :)

When girls are in love, they become pretty.

Guys can forget but can’t forgive ; girls can forgive but can’t forget.

When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl ;

when girls are heart-broken, they try to find his characteristic in another guy.

and,
Guys wish to be her first love ; girls wish to be his last.

P/S : So, you're with me? Hell yeahhh!! xD

2010-03-20T00:23:00.003+08:00

kami dapat habuan from hafizatul salma on Vimeo.

this video was recorded last year during our trip to kl for the prizegiving ceremony for the video contest that we won. we were damn bored.

P/S : Im straight. And yes, i did make out with a dolphin -_-'

so this is what happened. when girls get LOUD. x)

p/s : xsmpt nak trim this video. just watch it until 01 : 22.
or else, you get bored. haha!

when the heart speaks.

2010-03-15T17:42:00.008+08:00

today was awesome! had a great fun racing with shaik azri, baby, and you too, anis najwa! :)

and yes,
MALAYSIA car-made win! yay myvi! boo volvo. haha.

nanie, thanks fr inviting me.

♥

THANKS TO♥

my darling lala, myaa, zawann, ika, paly, fazhar, addy, anas, sya, afina, and a friend of bby for cheering up my so-not-happy day. sorry, idk ur name! -_-'

but,
it wud have been better if kme, apekk, kinahh, ncky and kyna was there.

nevermind :)

today didn't end with a happy ending. my PMS really doin its job and it totally affects my mood.

great JOB!

and 'B'.

Im sorry. I can't pretend like nothing is wrong. I felt it deep inside. Yeah.

JEALOUSY.

currenlty : awfully in pain.

im grateful, im just not satisfied. got it?

2010-03-12T22:32:00.006+08:00

shut up. yes. i only scored

8A's.

the rest are all B's. big ones.

mommy, im sorry if i let you down.

and late daddy, to you too.

i know you expect more from me.

i did too, u know.

i know i let you down. but pls, your words hurt me just enough.

i'll make it up to u. i promise.

pathetic.

2010-03-09T19:43:00.003+08:00

"im great at making people fall for me but only after i fall for them. hard. "

current mood : tarnished

back then, i'm sure i met some of great influenced people in my life. they were great i tell you. too many of them to be mention. but now, almost half of them has gone. sobsobs :(

one word to describe what am i FULL contented with right now is, MISERABLE. yeah, awful.

idk why i keep crying out for attention to those people who won't care just much. they used to. and thats what hurts the most.

they said i've change. but i keep remisniscing myself,

"they were the ones who change into some ELMO monsters with no feelings and they are just f*cked up."

so what? we used to call ourselves bestfriends forever but i never knew your 'forever' is just not forever. u got me?

things are so completely diff now. i'd rather plan for my upcoming future than worrying about you cause I remembered what you used to tell me.

"baby, people change and yes, people do leave. some for the better, some for the worst. never waste your time to even think about them unless they were thinking about you. FULLSTOP."

remember those lines, pal? they were yours.

one thing im begging u just in case, we'll create a whole new HAPPY ending.

correct me if im wrong. im no perfect human being.

i miss u guys. dah.

P/S : This post is dedicated to a lot of people. A few of them were my bestfriends until a few storms came and ruin our cherised memory. don't come up and ask me who am i referring to in this post. u know who u are. u just should.

brainwash. grr.

2010-03-01T09:34:00.008+08:00

great, for once, i think i manage to get rid of u. it's amazing how we used to be so close to each other, but now, backstabbing seems to be ur wayy. and i'm right behind yah! no worry.

people change. they do. but not w/out any particular reason. err, right?

lately, u seemed different. u really do. u don't call or txt me nemore. u barely just ignore me on ur wall page. and u dont have any idea how much that hurts. when i tried to get down to u, u gave me a simple cliche answer.

"owh, nothing dearr."

im not that blind, u see. i can feel the different. not just me. but the thing is, with other people, ur act are just fine. u r still u. so, what the heck is goin on here?

what did i do wrong?

or have you found someone btter to talk to?

remember, we are partners in crime.

ur secrets are my secrets.

pls dont go blew it off now.

dropping bombs.

2010-02-27T13:01:00.005+08:00

in love with this song.

time slows down whenever you're around. :)

nothing ordinary.

2010-02-26T01:33:00.005+08:00

thing sort of running out of its place now. i'm not happy. seriously. i hate the part when some of friends, well a few of my close ones, told me what i did was not right. i shud do this, not that. my life is sort of a hell right now, but i'm not yelling it out to the world cause i'm not that pathetic.

this one, right here was written to u, mister. well, i know how long hv u been waiting. at this current month, a few before spm results will be announced, a LOT, LOTS of people said,

"don't go for a guy."

Cause, u'll end up dumping him for another one u'll meet later. well, u got what i meant. i took the risk and i let u in. seriously, right now, it seems like forever. idk how our future would turn out to be.

but i just hope, we could work it out, just like others did. hell yeah, we're diff. u know the reasons why. *grin*

we may got our selves into trouble, but i promise we'll find out the way to get out of it, together.

apad rusli,

ouhouh, u knw i love you so:)

brb.

2010-02-22T21:35:00.008+08:00

THANKS
sayangg - for not giving up just yet.
faizah - for everything that u said.
lala- for being understanding. and the KFC ;)
dork - for giving me a wake up call.
sumie & hatin - for showing that u cared.

CURRENTLY MISSING
him.
ss and ss.
kyna.
kme.
fatin suhaila.
damiaa.
farhan.
piaa.
jinfeng.
mila.
myaaaa :))
afif.
faiz.
salma.
luqmann.
mat anip. hha. -_-'
ex-CLASSMATES<33
ASMARIANS<33
CADETS<333
JUNIORS. well, certain of them.

im gonna back off just for a little while. i need to get start ahead from the scratch.

awayy.

confession.

2010-02-21T10:33:00.005+08:00

I've got myself into big fucking trouble yesterday. Everything is messed up. She'd rather not to talk. I'd rather not to even look at her. I know i'm wrong. I lied. It just at that moment, i felt that was the only option left for me. I didn't expect any of this to happen. I'm sorry, right now, your face is the one thing im avoiding. I knw ur dissapointed but I just can't apologize like that to you. Easy-. I did like what dork told me to. I apologize to u thru a text message. U didn't respond, fine. I didn't care.

Idk if ur little girl here has become wild for god sake. Mom, i don't do anything stupid. I never will! But why u have to relate about daddy when it comes to me. Even if it's true, it's the one thing u should never do. Everybody said "Sab, hg tabah laa. Aku salute hg."

THE TRUTH IS, THEY KNOW NOTHING.

I was facing the most diff obstacles in life and u don't even fucking cares. How am i supposed to put on sides to family more than friends when they were the one who cares! At least.

After he passed away, i literally have no one to look up to. No one to guide me thru this life. No one to spank me up if i get a little bitchy sometimes. But gosh, at least, at least, daddy would understand why i took the risk and did everything single that i was not supposed to.

HE'S JUST NOT LIKE YOU. PERIOD.

especially dedicated. [1]

2010-02-20T00:03:00.011+08:00

TO : MR. APADD

the day i met you is the day i finally decided to move on.
you came at the right place, and for the right reasons, u manage to stay.
you never failed to make me laugh, and yes, congrats :)

TO : MR LUKE SISKA

*sorry, gmbr u dlm fon. alaaa, u kn justin biebier i jugakk :P:P:P*

u're amazing. never failed to be there. always.
i fall sick. u drove me to the clinic.
i extremely scared on the jpj test dat dayy, u managed to calm me down.
sapa kta i xkesah kt u dow?

i love you, guys. dah. :)

one week. then, it's over. almost?

2010-02-19T11:33:00.006+08:00

today : 19th of feb.

next week, today wud be :

26th of Feb.

2 days after that, the results will be ANNOUNCED. perhaps?
i am a DEAD meat.

oh how i wish the time machine was real.

i have lots of pathway to be chose out of a bunch.

FIRST,
do A-Level, Foundation or score 4 flats in Matriculation.
haha. i dreamt too hard don't u think?

then i have 4 options left.
1. pursue nuclear science in UKM or overseas if i had the chance.
2. UTP ; petroleum engineering. i love being offshore! :D
3. chemical engineering - being crazy and doin research in the lab? yeah, that's what im aiming for.
4. astronomy! sumie, jgn mrh. hha.

but!
if everything gets too hard,

kawen ja. apa susah?
hahahhahahahha:)

thank you.

2010-02-18T13:55:00.004+08:00

lately, my post have been about r/ship, guys and stuff. so, i think i should give it a break. hha. ryte now, the flu season came and lingers again.

i'm sick,

kashah is ALSO sick,

and

my dear grandma is SICKER!

sicker, i tell u! perghh. i nver thought being ill makes you crap a lot, talks a lot, and getting on people nerves too much. grr. i'm sort of got grounded for a day. well, that's not too bad don't you think? it just a 24 hour sitting at home, being bored, missing all your closest friends and people, and dying cause u can't do anything about it!

hee. neh suma gara2 smlm la. cis. i went out frm home, by 11pm, to the nearby pharmacy. i shud hve been to the clinic though but i got lazy. okay, that's just an excuse. actually, i hve something else to do. hehe. i wnt to meet someone so badly, so i drove straight to the place where i thought he wud b. punyaa la bad luck, i've got the wrong place, silly. sgtlah malu. dan sgtlah bebai. *sigh*

then, i've got call from abg kashah.

"nina, cepat balik!!"

then, mom.
"who give u permission to stay out at this time, hah!"

and, mom.

"nina, you've been out for almost one hour. what the hell are you doing right now? i don't think buying medicines from the pharmacy and pumping the fuel to the car would take that much time. mengada!"

wahahahhaa. tensen kot. seriously. since, my main reason to sneak out frm the house last nyte was to meet him, even for just a second, i still don't manage to make it happen. lagi, bebai. the lesson learnt here was,

DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANTED.

keys off, and yes darling, thanks to you. :)

-__-

2010-02-17T12:58:00.004+08:00

seaneh2 manusia, dia yg paling aneh.
sebaik2 kwn aku, dia yg paling baik.
sejahat2 mulut dia, dia yg paling kesah.

if x, dia xkn mengata! kn kn. heh.

seego2 laki, dia sggup tolak tpi sumaa tuh.
sepandai2 manusia, dia xpnah riak. skit pun x.
sehensem2 abah, dia yg kedua. :P:P:P

if x, mama xkn bawak kuaq ayat yg sama! kn kn. heh.

sumpah aku mrapu. babai.

fairytale versus reality.

2010-02-14T23:48:00.005+08:00

have you ever feel like you're losing someone,
but that someone was not even yours?

have you ever feel like you're head over heels over someone,
but there's no chance of him to feel the same way you did?

have you ever feel like you missing someone so bad,
eventhough you just met him like 10 minutes ago?

have you ever feel sad or miserable,
just because that someone is not YOURS?

have you ever feel amazingly happy,
just because he jokingly claimed u are his?

damn, it's not easy.

the anxiousness of waiting is slowly turning hopeless.

im no longer eager as i used to.

just one thing i really wish you know.
i hope you realise what i feel for you is real.

i love you, i always do. :)

another post.

2010-02-13T12:51:00.002+08:00

im gonna go dance like there's no way no one could stop me. my heart is smiling like no one could ever makes me. a single thing i heard from u can make my world go round and round :)

i fall for people easily. seriously. i need a help.

facts and dont's.

2010-02-12T04:00:00.008+08:00

10 random facts about sabrina bt mohd shuid :),

1. she eats a lot.
2. she cries a lot.
3. she's great at sulking. REAl great! thumbs up!
4. she loves everybody who loves her.
5. she hates everybody who hates her.
6. she was and never will be a great liar.
7. she never got mad at people for more than 24 hours.
8. she don't talk a lot but she will, when u know her better.
9. she always put other people first.
10. FINALLY, when she said she loves someone,
she would do everything in the world for that person.

so, AGREED?

gone too far too early.

2010-02-11T09:30:00.007+08:00

dear cikgu sharafuddin,

THANK YOU.
thank you for all the knowledge u gave me.
thank you for boosting up my spirit after i lost my daddy.
thank you for being patience and never talk harshly,
eventho, all of us were ~~barely appreciate u while u were there.~~

im sorry.
for not doing your homeworks.
for making silly faces when you're just trying to care.
for giving excuses everytime you ask for the homework u gave.
for not having the chance, to see us, all of your students, success in SPM 2009.
and mostly,
for not having the chance to apologize for everything that i ever did.

i love you, teacher.
u're a great dad and an amazing teacher.
may ALLAH bless u, always.
may u'll be placed in the great of heaven,
where all the love of gods gather.

al-fatihah.

great-stone-stupid-fun day :)

2010-02-10T23:57:00.012+08:00

on our wayy :)

"org mai tasek mmg utk tdoq." kn apadd kn. ^.^'

then, ada time tu, kme EMO.

so, bob pun emo jgk. miaw*

^.^'

ilveu, babe.

credits to people involved : kme syg, apadd syg dan bob yg tsyg juaaa.
sorry to nangka dgn thoriqq sbb aku kejan balik! wink* but thnks fer coming. i lveu guys lahh.

woot:)

2010-02-09T21:30:00.004+08:00

It's undeniable that we should be together
It's unbelievable, how I used to say that I'd fall never
The basis is need to know
If you just don't know how I feel
Then let me show you that now I'm for real
If all the things in time, time will reveal
Yeah

1 - one, you're like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me and
Four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one

It's so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional, once you know what it's all about, hey
And undesirable, for us to be apart
I never would've made it very far
cause you know you got the keys to my heart

P/S : I wish that guy has more sensitivity. True what they said. U are still a boy. You know nothing. You pretend like you're matured enough but you're not.

contagious.

2010-02-09T17:55:00.004+08:00

sincerely, i meant everything that i said down here. scroll.

gossiping is a sin. it's not an art. i get it, okay? but i just can't stand to see people being bitchy and doesn't have any idea how much people hate 'em? durh. im sorry, darling. i admit. i did say a few bad things about you. not a few. but not too many. but it's countable. u just annoyed me. much. we started off, a few years ago. we went to the same primary school. lucky for you, during the high-school-year, u lead the famous life while i enjoy seing u frm the bottom. :)

after spm ended, fate brought us back together. u, being a bestfriend to my bestfriends make the whole thing being an awkward experience. i never hate nor hated u, okay. i just dislike u. and that do makes a lot of diff. and why i dislike u? because u made me. it's stated in the girls rule. we should never date our friend's ex. but u go for it. u go girl! fine, it's okay. but the way u acted irritates people. it's fine to tell your bestfriend about your boyfriend. but the things doesn't seem right when your bestfriend is his ex. u get it? hv u ever think about her feelings? yeah, obviously she moved on. she is happy with another guy now. but that doesn't count. it's still a big no no!

heh. actually, if we started back on scratch, im sure, you and me, both of us, can really be good friends. but i kept thinking, before this, u are being nice to me only for certain reasons.
1. im ur bestfriend's bestfriend.
2. it just you!

ask urself. hv u ever been nice to me for REAL? hv u? bcause everything seem so fake out. pls, wake up.

gdluck luke siska :)

2010-02-09T08:47:00.008+08:00

today, bob ada test JPJ. hehe. gdluck sygg. nanti dh pass, we'll plan our trip to penang tw. :D

----------------------------------------------------------

well well hello. wahh. im so damn exhausted. i just got back from ckgu syu's home. last nyte xlekat rumah lgsg! =.=' first thing in the morning i got a chance to hang out with all my bebeh kme, apadd, bob. then, we went back home to rest for a while lpastu trus pecut p rumah ckgu syu then gerak p merbokk. hehe its quite fun actually. sbb kak adib yg drive tuu bwk lajuu. 140/160. perggghhh. terbaeekkk ah :D

actually, we went to penangg sbb ckgu syu suruh ikot p 'forum'. turn out to be, it tkes much longer time than me and kme xpcted. my eyes started to become reddish ; muka pun dh melayu, so, apa lgg! pnjg2 kn tgn, bwk kluaq hnpon, msg apadd! haha :P

[p/s : teknik neh bjya mengurangkan rasa mengantuk. tatipu.]

well back then, there was this guy. his name is ha***azmi. he is filthy rich la wey. sbulan gaji 30K. but hell, asai mka tuu cm kerek ja tahh. dhla msa otw blik, ckgu syu p pgge dia kta sab ngn kme nk bgambarr. ugrhh. he made a look like "im-hot-pls-look-at-me" but he is so not! grr. nasib aa kerek2' dia pun, pkai "brabuss". haha. cayalaa braderr.

yeahhh. cant wait. kae dh nk blek. frhn nk my aloqstaq. lala dh nk blek dri kl. wuwu rndu.

first impression? perggh.

2010-02-06T22:12:00.005+08:00

walaaaa. bessss. hey guyss, just got back from kulim. p jmpa fmily bakal mentuaa. hha. ptuii. no lah. i went to kyla's hometown. jmpa tokmi. thnkss tokmi sbb msk sdp2 dan sbb ltak shmpoo loreal dlm bathroom. sukaaa. :P dan sekalung thniah daku ucapkan kpd cik lalo kerna bjya drive dri astaq-kulim-sbrg jya. hha. dhlaaaaa lajuu. grrr. bak kta kme. terbaik laa. thnxx to u too, syg. :)

well. a few days back. i learned a lot from this word. 'sayang'. that single word, don't bring any meaning to me nemore. xtw napaaa. heh. if everybody sng2 ja pggey sumone syg, pa mknaa diaaa? btoi dk? heh. stg rsa lbey2 kna tudoh prasan. tp dlm crtain cndition, bla ignore ja, kna cop bodo sbb sah2 org tu 'syg'. hha.

and ALSO ; a few days back. i realise. people tends to hang out with me only if they ever spend the rest day with me. heh. that's the fact. cause i dun gv quite a guud first impression. yalaaa. i dunt talk a lot to people when i met them at the first time. time tuu mcm2 label dpt. "shy, timid, and invisible".

tp, smggu lpas tu, new labels stick to me "fun to be with, gila, sakaii, tok nadokk, ckp kuat cm sial". muahahhahaha. anything to add? tatipu laa. this is not sumthing to b proud about atceli. it's a disadvantage for me. i think. heh.

mommy. i want my daddy. dlu xdk boifren, xlaa rsa sgt sbb abah ada. haeh. :'(

hear me out. just this once.

2010-02-03T23:47:00.004+08:00

i gave up upon u.

ass grabbing.

2010-02-03T11:06:00.006+08:00

todayy is a blessing day for god sake. my mom woke me up, harshly! adeyy, pyh gk dh reti bwk keta neh. jd drebar tasyok kot. awai2 ya ah. deyy. then apadd da ntar msg. mamat tu mmg nk kna ah. ckup syiok mrapu dgn diaa. whtever, hg kn apadd, prank org ckup bguih. hha. tggu knun, blahblahblah la lu.

okayokay.the REAL thing is, i went to taman rimba with my bestie, si skem. finally, it all work out well. we did jog, okay! :P we did about 2 laps then we took our break kt tmpt baring2 tuu. there were lots of pakcek and makcek doing taichi. hehe. comell. (km dua dok tiru sket2 smbey2 lalu tpi dpa) pfft. naseb xkna ligan! ^.^' while we were having our break, there was a mid-age chinese woman doing taichi in front of us. we just ignore her and continue gossiping. but, while kme was in full of spirit spilling all of her stories about sani to me ; i accidentally saw the makcek putting her hands inside her pant and then grabbing her ass up and down ; up and down, well about 8 times i think. i dunno. i dont count, ok! but it was breathtaking dow. haha. or is it a part of the taichi? hha! i choked, and i quickly grabbed kme's arm so that she won't miss to see the so-called free show tuu. fortunately la hg smpt kan kme!

haihhh. but right now, all i want to do is bebai laa. mama aaa neh. ishk3. jeless aaa. suma org dh submit upu pny tuu. mama p bg hilang org pny pasepa xtw! grrrrrrrr.

oh my oh my.

2010-02-02T20:52:00.003+08:00

heh. start from a few days ago, all my frens pny status kt blog dh stat ckp psal result, uni, matriks and foundation. grr. depa xdk dh dok mrapu xtntu hala neh. hha aku srg ja dok mrewangg xsdaq2 dri lg. ^.^' hmm. xleh bygg kot result turns out to b mcm mana nnt. kn stat pkai merit. A+ A A-. klau da org dpt stret A+ mmg aku pingsan dlu kot. gla hebatt.

taqriz dok ckp psai u dh. umy. hha aku da gk bwk kuaq isu neh hrituh dkt fb. sbb aku still cm blurr g which engineering field shuid i pursue. dlu xpa aa, da jaa abah nk guide. mklum aa, aku srg ja yg ikot jejak dia. sbb tu dia ckup sygg kt aku. hha. dlm fmly pun, aku srg ja pa hat dpt DNA dia. kah3. para2 senior suma ckp asasi susah. kak sha buat asasi kt um. medic. smpai krus dia. ktaq aeh dgq. heh. tp matrik pun lbey krg ja. klau xscore stu sem1 tu free ja kna tndang kluaq. haih. aku aim nk UTP. UTM. UKM. UIA. 4 tuu ja. xtw rzki dpt hat mana.

shell dh bkak appilcation scholarship. tp maleh kot nk isi. nk bt cv lg. so, lex ah noh. smpt kot. hha. scholarship len aku xdgq pa pun. haeh. i need those damn scholarship! ;'(

nw im gnna go. thinking bout the future until tmorow mrning. xleh tdoq neh. blasah tdoq ptg td. heh. later guys.

p/s : sumthing yg out of tajuk di atas ; aku serik nak kwn dgn bf org. :)